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Mar 11

Problem Vampire Infestation?

Posted on Thursday, March 11, 2010 in Featured Products

The Count stopping by nightly for a midnight snack at your expense? Well, here at Mercantile Mart we have a solution to your problem, a genuine Western Wood Crafts Vampire Stake. Whether you are a professional Vampire hunter or just have a problem infestation that just won’t go away we have a Vampire Stake to fit every need. These quality hand made Vampire Stakes will strike fear into the hearts of any blood sucker, even those problematic ones that you just can’t seem to get to go away. Made of all natural cedar each Vampire Stake is hand crafted here in the USA to provide years of trouble free service.

Even if you don’t have a vampire problem at the moment it’s a good idea to keep a Vampire Stake around just in case. You just never know when a Vampire just might show up in your bedroom looking for a little late night snack.

Our Vampire Stakes even work on those movie Vampires that have been appearing on the big screen lately. Don’t trust them, a Vampire is a Vampire. They all like necking, but eventually you will be providing the snack they all want. With your Vampire Stake in hand you can say “Snack On This Blood Sucker” and go back to bed assured he wont be feasting on you tonight.

Here at Mercantile Mart we also carry all the accessories you will need to go along with your new Vampire Stake.

Cross Vampire Stakes: Want to go for that sure  kill? Our Cross Vampire Stakes are guaranteed to stop them in there tracks.

Vampire Stake Mallets: Are you having a problem keeping them staked? Then take a look at our Vampire Stake Mallets to drive them straight and true (Also Makes A Great Meat Tenderizer).

Our Vampire control products have other uses too!

Politicians: The only difference here is the orifice you stick it in. Note if you live in Washington  ask about our volume discount.

In-Laws: Guaranteed to help you take care of the most troublesome In-Laws that keep getting in your S**t.

Lawyers, The IRS, Terrorists: (See Politicians)

These are just a few of the many uses for our Vampire Control Products we know you can think of a lot more, so be creative and get yours now!

Disclaimer: These products are not toys and are not intended to be purchased or used by children under the age of 18. All products are sold as novelty items intended for display or use as props for motion picture production or other performances.